Friday, December 21, 2018
Thursday, December 20, 2018
I lie on my bed and stare out through the vertical blinds into the smoky white sky, and try to hold onto a single thought.
Everything is static and I can't find the answer that I need.
It's like I'm standing at the edge of a long tunnel, calling out into the dark and the only thing I hear is the echo of my own voice trailing off into the blackness.
Posted by andrew hillard at 2:20 PM
Saturday, December 1, 2018
"The man I am writing about is not famous. It may be that he never will be. It may be that when his life at last comes to an end he will leave no more trace of his sojourn on earth than a stone thrown into a river leaves on the surface of the water."
W. Somerset Maugham - The Razor's Edge
Posted by andrew hillard at 5:58 PM
Tuesday, November 27, 2018
Nobody can save you but yourself. You will be put time and time again into nearly impossible situations. They will attempt again and again through subterfuge, guise and force to make you submit, quit and/or die quietly inside. Nobody can save you but yourself.
Posted by andrew hillard at 12:09 PM
Friday, November 23, 2018
Thursday, November 15, 2018
Tuesday, November 13, 2018
Friday, November 9, 2018
He stood on the beach and watched the black water splash on the frozen sand like a million unanswered cries for help. The dementia of overwhelming loss gripped his heart and it left him impotent on the shore. He closed his eyes and thought of her somewhere far away and he imagined her smooth skin reflected on the water caught in tiny fragments of perfectly distorted beauty and piece by piece the images of that world slipped and slid in the tide and were taken away. He screamed at the ocean until every last drop of energy left his weary bones and when he had finished and after he had emptied his soul out into that void at the edge of time he started to cry.
Posted by andrew hillard at 10:22 PM
Tuesday, November 6, 2018
Thursday, October 18, 2018
Monday, October 15, 2018
Friday, October 12, 2018
Sunday, October 7, 2018
Friday, October 5, 2018
Tuesday, October 2, 2018
Wednesday, August 29, 2018
|Mileticova Bratislava Summer 2018|
Evenings with the sound of buzzing mosquitos and memories flowing through my mind. Cool mornings awakening to the blue light and birdsong of the dawn chorus. A distant church bell and the voices of children clattering against each other like bright colours splashed across a grey wall. Trying in vain to hold on to the fading edges of a dream that briefly became a reality and that will one day sink into the deep ocean of subconscious. To be fully aware of the infinite pleasure and great cost of a single kiss. To watch shadows grow longer until they eventually expire as the magic hour draws to its conclusion. To love with my eyes and heart your clouds and trees, your old staircases and narrow streets and the light as it catches in the long grass that dances in the breeze. To walk slowly and talk quietly and spend these moments collecting memories, brief snatches of time that fill me with joy. To be awakened from the slumber and numbness of loss with the feeling that I can continue this journey knowing that it is possible to learn as much from failure as it is from success and to know the similarities as well as the differences.
Thank you Bratislava for these years of learning and growing.
Posted by andrew hillard at 5:55 PM
Saturday, August 25, 2018
From here to there -
fifteen years gone
To watch the suns faded glow reflected on the ocean
and sift the sand in search of a pearl
to let regret dissolve
and be released from the chains of unfulfilled memories
to throw the shreds of negativity into the air
and watch it all wash away with the tide
Posted by andrew hillard at 4:01 PM
Tuesday, August 14, 2018
A poem to the heart of the one who gets tired too early
tenderness craves one more kiss before it learns to regret
all of the time we can fit through the eye of a needle
measured out lines that we draw up and let out the door
offering kindness as if it were your last day
suffering will free you enough to suffer some more
sitting here early not wanting to miss the transport
take me away to the place I used to call home
back to a memory
something that no longer exists.
Posted by andrew hillard at 10:03 AM