The last days of summer (my dreams from this room)

                          Mileticova       Bratislava     Summer     2018

Evenings with the sound of buzzing mosquitos and memories flowing through my mind. Cool mornings awakening to the blue light and birdsong of the dawn chorus. A distant church bell and the voices of children clattering against each other like bright colours splashed across a grey wall. Trying in vain to hold on to the fading edges of a dream that briefly became a reality and that will one day sink into the deep ocean of subconscious. To be fully aware of the infinite pleasure and great cost of a single kiss. To watch shadows grow longer until they eventually expire as the magic hour draws to its conclusion. To love with my eyes and heart your clouds and trees, your old staircases and narrow streets and the light as it catches in the long grass that dances in the breeze. To walk slowly and talk quietly and spend these moments collecting memories, brief snatches of time that fill me with joy. To be awakened from the slumber and numbness of loss with the feeling that I can continue this journey knowing that it is possible to learn as much from failure as it is from success and to know the similarities as well as the differences.

Thank you Bratislava for these years of learning and growing.

Journeys

From here to there -
fifteen years gone

To watch the suns faded glow reflected on the ocean
and sift the sand in search of a pearl
to let regret dissolve
and be released from the chains of unfulfilled memories
to throw the shreds of negativity into the air
and watch it all wash away with the tide

life in the palm of your hand

A poem to the heart of the one who gets tired too early
tenderness craves one more kiss before it learns to regret
all of the time we can fit through the eye of a needle
measured out lines that we draw up and let out the door
offering kindness as if it were your last day
suffering will free you enough to suffer some more
sitting here early not wanting to miss the transport
take me away to the place I used to call home
back to a memory 
something that no longer exists.

The weaker hand holds the truth.

We followed the silver lake out beyond the edge of town, 

I tried to teach my tongue to talk of the sacred heart, and of a bitterness that hopefully dissolves over time. 

All the tall buildings

   

                              Ema      Bratislava    summer        2011

A sense of freedom

                                                                     Nate              Summer            2018

for jm

bratislava        2018

 I was an Indiana kid, gettin no one in my bed I had your sweet tunes to play I was staring at the map, feeling fire in my head I had your sweet tunes to play I was mean to my dad, cause I was mean to myself I had your sweet tunes to play Stealing smokes in my car, with the windows way down I had your sweet tunes to play I was sittin in the bath, cleaning off the ash But I had your sweet tunes to play And I hated all my friends, I wouldn’t let them in I had your sweet tunes to play On a long desert train, and a knife in my bag I had your sweet tunes to play Under the Market Street Bridge, burning one in my hand I had your sweet tunes to play Your sweet tunes to play Now it’s hard to hear you sing, the crow has lost its wings I got your sweet tunes to play I’m getting older every day, still making the same mistakes I got your sweet tunes to play Either get out or stay in, I won’t let these dark times win We got your sweet tuens to play Your sweet tunes to play

Strand of oaks 'JM'

sleeping under the stars

                                                                  Vojka                Spring             2018

Being Human

                                                                         Bratislava 2018

How do we define our humanity?
By a definition we create for ourselves,
or how others define us?

untitled #4&5

                                                       Bratislava                   2018

untitled #3

                                                                 Bratislava            2018

untitled #2

                                                                 Bratislava          2018

untitled

                                                               Bratislava             2018

Here and Now (Part 1 filmmakers)

                                                   Bratislava       WInter      2017

From my new project "here and now" Marek Moucka and Krispin Izdinsky are part of a new collective of young Slovak film makers who focus on contemporary documentary. Inspired by Dusan Hanak (Pictures of the old world) and Artavazd Pelichian (The End) Filming on 8mm, hand processing and cutting the film. 

A Fluid Drop Part One

                                                                      the lock opens at Gabcikovo  Slovakia

Bratislava - Belgrade - Seged

Danube - Sava - Danube - Tisza

 A two week trip down the Danube to Serbia, the freedom to make whatever I wanted as a way of documenting the trip and a chance to experience something new. I had an evening to decide and the words “It will change your life” from Robert, an Austrian boat fanatic I had just met bouncing around my head. I had crossed the channel on a ferry in 2004 when I first came to Slovakia and many years before that I took a ship from Dacha to Marmaris in Turkey, but neither could compare to travelling down Europe's second largest river, through three countries on a small boat.

Leaving the marina in Bratislava the skies darkened and rain spattered across the windscreen, after a few miles the wind picked up and the boat, due to its flat bottomed design started to thud heavily against the oncoming waves. We were going at full speed as we had limited time to reach the lock at Gabcikovo which would open only one more time that day and it was essential that we pass through in order to continue to our first planned port of call, the city of Gyor in Hungary.

Gabcikovo is the only lock on the Danube between Vienna and Budapest and the river at Baka on the approach is 131m above sea level, at some points the river is higher than the surrounding trees, giving way to strong winds and big waves. As we entered the lock waiting there were a Romanian freighter and a large tourist boat; a floating hotel with its engine running. All this combined to make dangerous conditions as our small boat was tossed around like a toy in the lock. After two failed attempts at trying to moor, we were slammed into the wall of the lock with such force that suddenly I realised our trip could end here, we were running out of time and space, the gate was closing and the water level would soon be changing by 19 meters. It all started to look like disaster when our luck changed and the captain of the Romanian ship shouted for us to pull alongside and throw up a rope. One last chance to turn the boat, I threw the rope, he caught it and we secured against the freighter, saved. It was only then I realised our small drama had played out to an audience of around 70 people gathered on the bridge that crossed the dam, Sunday entertainment for the locals and again those words echoing inside like a ghostly piano melody “this will change your life”.

Shadows

Zrkadlo

                                                                                                                                     Dobra Voda              Summer         2017

Kopac

Installation from Vienna

Text for exhibition

The brightest light can cast the deepest shadow

Is a meditation on loss and the temporary nature of relationships; from dark into light and returning back into darkness.

A long journey and an attempt to find direction and capture a hopeful instinctive reaction to an overwhelming physical and emotional sense of loss and an attempt to find healing in the simple beauty of my surroundings.

The process of looking, feeling, and reacting by taking a photograph was the start of a positive dialogue between myself and life, and as we are so often reflecting on our past or projecting an uncertain future, it became a record of being there in the moment. 

Just as in relationships the combination of looking and feeling and deciding is often of more significant importance than that of describing and justifying. The images are not only a representation of my feelings, but they have taken on a greater role in helping me to more understand loss and grief, the patience necessary to start to heal and how precious and momentary is the gift of life. 

Andrew Hillard

May 2017

The tree of life

                                                                                                 Bratislava  Summer    2016

Help each other.
Love everyone.
Every leaf.
Every ray of light.
Forgive.

The solitude of ravens by Masahisa Fukase

"Karusu"

Breathtaking

Invitation

Test prints for Vienna

I will have my first solo exhibition in Vienna, opening on Saturday 10th June, during Vienna Photobook Festival.